Episode 7 - When It Rains

The Narrator:
Welcome, dear listener, to Tales Beneath the Surface, and this, the next step on our shared journey into the unknown. Really I feel like I’m going from strength to strength, shedding that extra weight has done me wonders. I suppose the surgeon’s, no, the editor’s scalpel can really reveal the truth hidden among all that extra verbiage!

One thing I’ve learnt over the arc of this series is you do have to be careful who you choose to be a friend. Some people don’t have your best interests at heart and, well, if you have a couple of harmless peccadilloes they can take advantage of, then could be left quite high and dry. Now I know I can rely on you dear listener, your kind and considered missives have been a balm to my heart, and in return, I promise to guide you through this maze of mirrors and fiction. Though of course one’s appetites can, when glutted without care, lead you to a place you can’t escape from. The journey there will have been delicious but at its end you’ll find yourself regretting ever having bought a ticket. Still, the inspector cares not a whit, you got on the train after all, ignorance is no excuse and it’s time to settle up. I hope you brought better friends than mine…

---

All that glitters

Location - London flat, music in the background

FX Credit card clinking on glass

PETER:
Alright Seb, get that in you and you’ll be right as rain.

snort

PETER:
That’s more like it! Don’t worry I’ve got another bag, now drink up. Cheers!

The sound of drinks clinking and noise of men after drinking strong alcohol

Tuck in! My treat tonight, lads! . mean chuckle

gulp, sound of glass banging on table, snort, cough & shout, lads lads lads!!

SEBASTIAN:
Gosh Petie, where did you get this?! snort, satisfied sigh I feel as good as a christmas bonus, though not yours GARY, that was obscene laughs

GARY:
Obscene, yeah, I like the sound of that! That Brucey Bonus was the tip of the iceberg my son, you just wait, you’ve barely been here a year. Anyway move over I’ve got an itch in my nose that only that can scratch.

PETER:
Come on now Seb, move aside, our friend here has a want that needs satisfying and there’s plenty to go round

SEBASTIAN:
Of course, the mirror is yours my good man. Fill your boots

GARY:
Why thank you my lord! snort, satisfied sigh

All laugh at their joke

GARY:
Nectar from the gods, I’m feeling good lads, no fuck that I’m feeling fan-fucking-tastic wolf howl

more jeering etc

PETER:
Move over, and I will rack up some more, and shots to celebrate the weekend!

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS glasses hitting the table

SEBASTIAN:
Right then, gentlemen, where are we off to tonight? Petie I heard murmurings that you might know some establishments where we can blow off a little steam with some more errr ravishing company

GARY:
How about we have a little flutter, my money’s on Seby boy striking out wherever we go!

SEBASTIAN:
amused Oh get fucked GARY, you scared of a little competition? I was quite the Lothario back at Christ Church, those international girls liked the taste of English mustard!

GARY:
Ha ha I love the confidence mate, now Pete you ready to back him?

PETER:
Well, where we’re going almost anything can be satisfied, so I wouldn’t feel right taking your money

GARY:
I bet he couldn’t close even if he paid! Come on Pete a 100 quid, what’s that to you, you’re not gonna find anything better

SEBASTIAN:
Really GARY? How gauche

GARY:
OK Casanova, 500 quid says you don’t get one sniff all night

SEBASTIAN:
I’ve half a mind to take you up on that

GARY:
Strippers don’t count and neither do relatives

all laugh

SEBASTIAN:
Alright, alright, you cockney prick, I promise I won’t sleep with any of your relatives

cheers

GARY:
You cheeky bastard, I meant yours!

laughter

PETER:
Now, now lads, how about a drink and a line to make up, can’t be letting a little joshing ruin our evening. That’s it. Cheers and drink up.

GARY:
Fuck me Pete you are on one tonight, hay, you ain’t trying to shag me are you. Ha ha ha!

glasses hitting table

PETER:
You should be so lucky! Ha. Well now we’re all friends again, let’s have a couple more here then down the road for a bite then we’ll hit Soho to satisfy all your little peccadilloes, what’s life without a little sin after all

cheering etc etc

SEBASTIAN:
Gareth has a point! Why are you being so mysterious, Petie?

PETER:
I guess you could say I enjoy bringing people together, and since you asked you’re gonna set the pace for us for the rest of the night!

waaheeyy, sound of a chair scraping

SEBASTIAN:
Well H’as your honorary overemphasize COCK coxswain for the evening let me just say this - LETS GET FUCKING BLOTTO !!

fading sounds of general laddy blokey bollocks

music break

chanting in the distance getting louder, rain on the streets

DOORMAN:
We might have ourselves some fish, drawn in by the bright lights, swimming down toward our hungry jaws. They don’t know we’re here waiting, ready for them, lurking beneath the shadows, poised to spring out and snap our dagger sharp teeth shut.

pause

OTHER MAN:
What. The. Fuck?! What are you talking about?!

DOORMAN:
embarassed Ach, sorry, I’ve been reading again, guess some of it rubbed off

OTHER MAN:
Well pack it in, you sound ridiculous….

DOORMAN:
I…I like to read, the stories talk to me, feels like they’re filling me up…then I guess they sort of spill out, sorry boss this is a northern line

OTHER MAN:
Alright, alright, I guess it’s good you’re broadening your horizons at least. Anyway leave it out when you’re here, you sound like the fucking cryptkeeper, if anyone heard you while they were waiting they’d probably turn right around, I know I would.

DOORMAN:
Ah yeah fair enough boss, good point

OTHER MAN:
Yeah they’ll leave with their pockets lighter but that’s about it, not like we’re gonna add them to the fucking pot

chanting rounds a corner

OTHER MAN:
Though hearing that I think these guys are fucked, alright then to himself lights, camera, action

sound of step out and an umbrella opening

OTHER MAN:
big, loud, oily, friendly - like a carnival barker selling you a line Gentlemen, gentlemen, we’ve been waiting so long for you, all the girls have been quite beside themselves thinking you’d abandoned them, now, now

SEBASTIAN:
drunk / intoxicated Well, I for on cannot, no, will not let that stand

jeers etc

OTHER MAN:
Of course not sir, now, please, welcome, come in, get out of the rain, make yourself as snug as a bug in a rug

SEBASTIAN goes in alone

PETER:
Go on ahead mate, we’ll catch up

GARY:
This the place then?

PETER:
Oh yeah, heard about it through… er… Fletch, sposed to be unbelievable what goes on

GARY:
hur hur hur class, well will be a nice little surprise for Sebey hurhurhur

PETER:
Big time, yeah, big time hahaha you go in, I’m having a smoke, I’ll see you in there

GARY:
Course, see you in a minute pause whatever happened to Fletch?

PETER:
No idea mate…London..you know people move on..transient place innit

GARY:
Yeah, strange, well maybe he’s abroad, still–

interrupts

DOORMAN:
Gentlemen if you’d like to step inside, the entertainment’s waiting within, just follow the corridor down, and sir, if you follow the staircase up you’ll get to the smoking terrace,

PETER:
Oh, fantastic, well GARY see you in a minute

GARY:
Right you are, Pete, I can’t fucking wait for this { Sings / Whistles Bekash’s song as he walks away }

PETER:
Up the stairs you said?

OTHER MAN:
Oh I think you knew that already… PETER, yes up the stairs, you can’t miss it

PETER:
No need to be like that

sound of steps on carpet

OTHER MAN:
Right they’re gone, lets get packed up, don’t want any other pissheads staggering in

DOORMAN:
Right you are Tel, the trap’s sprung after all and we’ve snared our prey

OTHER MAN:
muttered ….. Jesus christ

Metal clanking (those velvet ropes getting put away), bit of brushing, light flickering off

OTHER MAN:
Here’s tonight’s take, if all goes well you’ll get a bit extra when I see you next, see you soon, you’ll get a letter next time we’re working

DOORMAN:
Cheers, sound of clinking coins nice, florins and my thirty pieces of silver, business has been good. See you soon Tel

walks off in the rain

OTHER MAN:
shouted And mix up your fucking reading, get yourself something light and airy like a serial killer romance

door closes

DOORMAN:
laughs then sighs then footsteps fading out

music

Now alone, this unsavoury man stood by the closed front door and listened. There was no one on the other side scratching out scraps of a morsed message and the clamour of steps and conversation had passed. He opened a door hidden behind a curtain, flinging the velvet rope and metal stands inside. Now seated behind his brass-bound desk he pulled a panatella from its case and poured a glass of dark oily liquid that danced with petrol sheen. He smoked and drank, leaning back in the chair swallowed by shadow, his fiery eyes and the cigar’s amber tip tracing a burning arrow pointing down.

music

The carpeted corridor seemed to spiral out into the distance, its borders kinking and twisting, corkscrewing away as Sebastian’s head started spinning. He folded over and retched then wiped his mouth, suddenly energised. His heavy feet waded through the shag pile, his regurgitated poison in his wake, a lumpen mess soaking into the carpet.

Two columns of dressed stone lay ahead of him holding up a lintel of rough unshaped rock. Beyond steps split rows of carved seats that fell towards a sandy circular pit. The seats were full of shapes that suggested well-dressed respectability that faded with a second glance, their edges blurring into a shadow of patched, second hand elegance. Sebastian paid it no mind - there was an empty space just there, a drink ready beside it, both waiting for him.

He gazed upwards, joining the faces raised in awe as they looked toward a carved oval in the ceiling. Stars spun and danced. And he was sitting, staring as void light poured into the room, hitting the sandy ring below, splashing like water from a jug. Bands of light ribboned out, spreading up each carved step and crawling around every figure, wrapping around them then pouring into their mouths and eyes, pulling their cheeks back into ecstatic rictal smiles. Sebastian could see it coming closer. He felt detached, an observer of himself, as the bright tendrils wrapped around his legs, up his torso then down into his throat and in through his open eyes

SEBASTIAN:
How odd, almost…like…..blackberries

Music break psychedelic. Orgasmic shout??

There was a flash of prismatic light throbbing together with an enormous spectrum of sound that roared through his body blasting him out of it into a sea of sensation. Flashes of heartbreak, delight, grief and bliss came over and through him. He lived a thousand lives simultaneously, felt the thrill and terror of the hunt, saw the birth and deaths of a myriad too great to count, as he ascended to the next level, his consciousness a greasy smear across reality. Old scars opened as new ones formed, hungry mouths gasping to feed on the sensation, he ached to be filled and emptied at the same time. He heard the light of dawn pouring though a baby’s gaze and tasted the rumbling stampede on the plain. His senses merged and fell apart, blending and splitting in fractals forever. After an eternity he came back to the room and saw it for the first time. An old, faded theatre with moth-eaten seats. All those around him had the same pleasure-stained trousers and jaundiced afterglow now their obscene appetites were satisfied.

PERVERT:
Urrrhha Nothing like it, I haven’t been emptied like that since…well the last time I was here hur hur hurr….shame about the trousers haahahaaha…though every great gift deserves a little sacrifice….ahhh by Babalon’s twisted horns it never gets old.…you look lost there friend…did you venture across the abyss..? …. I can see from your face you haven’t had the pleasure….yet….don’t worry brother…it comes to us all once the time is right….it took me five long years of grubbing through the sand after Lawrence’s dropped hints to first see the hallowed entrance written in the stars…what a sight it was…only the first step to be fair…still worth it though, well worth it….if this had been setup when I first trod the path….oohh to think where I’d be now…though I wouldn’t change a single thing….haahaaha…

SEBASTIAN:
What are you talking about?

PERVERT:
Wait, what lodge are you from brother? Who showed you the rod of illumination?

SEBASTIAN:
What’s happening…. look at the state of me…I’ve got to go clean..christ..jesus christ

PERVERT:
Haha ooh you’re far beyond his reach…wait it’s your first time? Your actual first time?! And I get to witness your virgin rebirth?! Haahaaha oh damn what I wouldn’t give to go back and have all this once again for the first time…you’re a lucky man brother

SEBASTIAN:
Look, I’m not your brother, now get out of my way

PERVERT:
If you’re here then you are my brother whether you recognise it or not…unless, no, no surely not haahha, oh the pit and the heavens have blessed me….hey, HEY! Where you going? You’re going to miss the lottery and we can’t have that

SEBASTIAN:
I don’t give a whit for gambling, and anyway I don’t have a ticket—

PERVERT:
Oh don’t worry about that, it’s all part of the entry fee, wait, ah that’s it, you’re a Christchurch man, I never would have dreamt that one of my fellow alumni would slink away before a prize draw, terrible form

SEBASTIAN:
You were at…

PERVERT:
Oh I’ve been all over dear boy, now come on, sit down

SEBASTIAN:
Tell me what this is first

PERVERT:
You don’t know?! Ooohho hahaa. It’s the best bit, a little bit of jeopardy to go with your pleasure, I’m sure you enjoy a flutter now and then, despite what you claim, well winning wouldn’t taste nearly as sweet without the crushing losses before….right hush hush now they’re doing the draw, sit down

SEBASTIAN:
What are you….

Sound of a drumroll then the click of a stage spotlight turning on and polite applause

PERVERT:
Oh me oh my, first time here and you get picked?! You lucky lucky boy, i’ve been coming here for oh so long now, well come on then, time to collect your winnings, we’re all ever so grateful for your contributions

SEBASTIAN couldn’t see him any more, he was blinded by the light. He could feel it beaming up the back of his skull, leaking through the cracks where his head had come together. Shame rolled over him, an adolescent chemical wave. Then with a soap bubble pop a fleshy disk appeared softly throbbing, hanging in the air, free from any wall. It was right in front of him and he peered through it into a dark pregnant space. There were bodies there, a jumbled puzzle writhing. The slapping gurning of the multitude of desiccated mouths whispered like the sound of rain through a closed window.

PERVERT:
Time to collect

SEBASTIAN heard as he toppled forward through the hole, a handprint burning on his back, his euphoric scream cut short as the disk zipped shut.

Music break

CROUPIER:
Your bet sir

GARY:
Whaa-at?

CROUPIER:
It’s your bet

GARY:
Am I in this round?

CROUPIER:
Yes sir, you have the ante

GARY:
How much am I down?

CROUPIER:
Just the ante sir

GARY:
Then fold, this round’s yours lads

CROUPIER:
Very good sir

Discretion seemed the better part of valour right now, at least while Gary got his head together. How long had he been here? He couldn’t remember the last hand, hell he couldn’t remember buying in or even getting onto the gaming floor. Last thing that came to mind was his good friend Peter saying he’d see him inside then he was walking in and down some carpeted stairs and then..nothing, how strange. Gary didn’t think he’d drank enough to black out but that seemed like a possibility. Well he was here now, wouldn’t be the first time he came to sat at a card table, clarity breaking in like ice water under a careless skater’s misplaced foot.

The pile of chips in front of him said he hadn’t been playing well. What were the stakes? How much was he down? He had a quick look around but could barely see the other players let alone the rest of the room. There was so much smoke in here, a thick fug of cigars and cigarettes.

GARY:
Damn I’d love a snout

It would settle his mind, give him something to do while he pulled himself together and figure out exactly how deep was.

WAITER:
Cigarette sir, or we do have some excellent cubans if you’re after something richer

GARY:
What? You read my mind there sunshine, give me a cohiba

WAITER:
A gentleman of taste and refinement I see

GARY:
And a little something for your trouble, son

WAITER:
Thank you sir sound of lighter but I think you need it more than me

GARY:
What?! under breath prick

He hadn’t tossed his hand back to the CROUPIER and they didn’t look in a hurry to take it, his focus was on the players still betting. GARY picked the cards up, they were longer than usual and sat heavy in his hand, the card stock thick and unyielding. He didn’t recognise the suits. He had a handful of coins and swords, the colour and lines brighter than they should be. Looking at the cards spread on the table he filled out the rest of the suits, wooden staves and golden cups. It didn’t make a difference to him what was on the cards, looked like there were still 4 suits and that was something he could work with.

The round finished and half the hands were flipped. He recognised the arrangements and the pot went to a full house that edged out the rest. The CROUPIER gathered up the iridescent cards, shuffled and started another round. There was still one card left from the previous round. It was facedown sitting in the middle of the table. That was the only mystery, aside from that GARY was certain he could win. No, now he was back in the room he knew he could win.

music

CROUPIER:
Sir, sir, it’s back to you

The croupier’s voice broke through, it demanded his attention, breaking his trance, pulling him back. Gary looked down and saw his cards spread out in his palm. They smiled up at him promising the world.

GARY:
Right, right…

CROUPIER:
You’ve just enough to call, is that what you’d like to do…sir? But it would put you all in

GARY:
Well fortune favours the bold, I’m in

CROUPIER:
Very good sir

Gary watched the rest of the round play out fulfilling his hand’s promise. There was more betting that he couldn’t match but his pot was still a tidy sum. It got to the end and he had the winning hand. The croupier split out his pot then pushed the rest to someone else. The chips glittered in the smoky light and Gary felt every slide that took them further away as a pin in his heart, they were his winnings. Still, he was ahead, he’d doubled his stake, he could make it back, he always made it back. One more hand and he’d walk away with whatever he had left. He’d definitely walk away, go back and get Pete a drink. Just one more hand.

The croupier span the cards out, stacking them one on top of another in front of the 13 places around the table. In a trance Gary watched his hand reach out unbidden and collect his cards, sliding them face down across the deep red baize of the table before flipping them up and spreading them across his palms. Warmth spread through his chest then back down into his hands as he looked at the cards. It was the perfect setup, if the flop went his way he’d be golden.

GARY:
Call – beat you to it, this time didn’t I haaha

CROUPIER:
As you wish sir

The flop turned and landed on the table and a hundred doves exploded in Gary’s head. He had it, there was no way he could lose. He tried to keep it cool as sweat beaded on his brow. Now, now Gary don’t give up your good fortune. He was golden. Surely nothing could touch him now. The music picked up, the horns were going wild driving over the drums thumping out a rhythm like they were falling down stairs. Racing, his heart matched it. He watched on as the other players reupped the bet and he matched it looking down at the now empty space in front of him. The croupier flipped another card and the betting continued. Gary’s belly burned with bitterness that he didn’t have the money to match.

GAMBLER:
I can front you enough to match the last round Sonny

pGary turned left and saw a little old lady sat next to him, bright eyes twinkling. Her mouth cut into a smile that promised too much, a bulging crocodile skin bag clutched in her hands

GARY:
Alright wrinkels, you taking the piss? Seems a little convenient, I’ve not made many friends at the table pause What’s in it for you?

GAMBLER:
Look laddy I can see a winner, I know you’re good for it, I saw you buy in, you’ve been playing for a while and this is the first time you’ve been caught short, all I’m doing is keeping you in the round..you look like you’ve got something good, and if you don’t hey I get paid either way

Gary snuck another look at his cards. He could taste the win. He could feel the chips in his hands already, it was so close. If he didn’t take the offer sure he’d be in the pot for everything but the last round but that last round had been heavy, he’d be way ahead. Might even make all his money back once he’d figured how much he’d already lost.

GARY:
Haahha…urmm…well there’s

CROUPIER:
clears throat Your bet sir

GAMBLER:
turning away It’s up to you laddy, I get it if you don’t want it, some people can’t take the heat

GARY:
Ahh piss off grandma I can take it, alright, let’s do this, you’ll have your money back shortly either way

laughs

The old woman smiled wider then turned her back opening the bag with a clank and coming back round with an armful of chips

GAMBLER:
Oh I’m sure I will laddy, here you go, this should cover it

CROUPIER:
Yes…to the…penny….well let’s see them gentlemen

Gary watched as hands were flipped over, appearing one by one from out of the smoke. It came round to him and he still had everything beat, his chest was filling with molten joy at the win. He reached out to take his winnings then heard a familiar voice chipping in.

GAMBLER:
Ah, ah, now sonny. I’ve yet to show mine….oh and my goodness isn’t that a shame..

CROUPIER:
Well, well, seems we’ve got a tie

GARY:
So an even split then?

The croupier looked at Gary with something approaching pity.

CROUPIER:
No…no, no sir, not at all. It’s a tie. Now you each choose a card, the winner takes it all

GARY:
Can’t we split it? Half of this is yours already

GAMBLER:
You’ve got to be in it to win it laddy

CROUPIER:
The table card or a fresh draw?

Gary looked down at the table and the card at its centre and the design on its back drew him in deep again, he felt his certainty slipping away but no, no no he understand the rules…or at least that’s what his greed whispered

CROUPIER:
Ahem Your card sir

GARY:
….that one right there beside your hand

GAMBLER:
Then it’ll be a fresh draw for me

CROUPIER:
Now the final step. Do either of you want to trade?

GAMBLER:
I’ll buy your card laddie, swap it for this one here, I think you’ll find it a sweeter deal

GARY:
I’m good

CROUPIER:
Are you certain

GARY:
…yes

CROUPIER:
Twice refused, no trade on the table, play it as it lays

Gary watched his hand turn the card as if it belonged to another. There was a tower there struck by a bolt from above with 2 figures falling surrounded by the broken stone of its top.

GARY:
YES! The castle, that’s got to be the winner! …right?

He could hear the tumbling stone and the screams of the figures before the old woman’s voice scraped through his head.

GAMBLER:
Looks like I’ve got you beat laddie, you should’ve taken the deal

The grinding of stone turned to whistling in Gary’s ears and then to screams as he heard the laughter of everyone at the table, even the croupier as his face morphed and changed.

GARY:
You..you…can’t do that you dried up slag

GAMBLER:
But I did, you know you should always check the stakes before gambling, now come here sonny it’s time for me to collect

The little old lady grew tall, juddering upwards with jerking spastic growth, her gnarled hand grabbing Gary by the shoulder before stuffing him head first into the pewter rimmed sack.

Music break

Up on the roof Peter leant on the bronze balustrade that twisted in writhing vines around the edge of the lightwell cut into the building. Above his head was a cloud of smoke, almost thick enough to condense down and dampen his jacket. He studied the building’s void, looking down at the sandy ring deep below and the opalescent light coagulating in a staircase of clotted clouds.

OTHER MAN:
Someone’s going to notice one day you know

PETER:
chuckles

OTHER MAN:
Your colleagues keep going out with you, coming here, then…well who knows what happens next

PETER:
I think we both do. Now you’ve got it, yeah? Give it to me, I need it

OTHER MAN:
Yes, yes, here you are, now careful with that - the accountant took care of the distillation himself, it’s really rather…intense

PETER:
Give it here, give it to me! brief struggle

a deep inhalation and fx as he inhaled something mystical

PETER:
Oooaahh thank the old gods.

OTHER MAN:
Easy there, damn you almost took my hand off

PETER:
Uuuaahhmm….it’s beautiful…so beautiful…well here’s to another successful evening’s business, long may it last

Both laugh

OTHER MAN:
Right, you’ve had your fix, there’s enough there to keep you going for a little while yet, now get the fuck out of my club, I don’t want to see you here again

PETER:
Don’t be like that, why are you like that? What have I done to you?

OTHER MAN:
You know well enough PETER, now get out

Peter staggered back down the staircase sparing a bitter look back towards his enabler. The other man watched him go, smiling slightly when heard him fall and tumble down the stairs. He leant on the railing and lit another cigar, letting out a plume of smoke under the glimmer of alien stars.

---

The Narrator:
Deary me, didn’t they come a cropper! Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of lads, am I right?! laugh Oh and how delicious, there’ll be one less Gary walking around in this world.

pause

I wonder though, that man at the door seemed familiar…not sure if I can place him…no…no, must just be me, one of those voices that stalk your progress, lingering at the periphery..haunting your dreams…Now, where was I? How silly, losing my place again, I’m glad it hasn’t happened while we’ve been recording, that would be unprofessional knowing chuckle though I’m sure you would forgive me, wouldn’t you? I suppose in a way I’ll be none the wiser and, as we’ve found out, that is a threadbare shield when the collector comes a’knocking. Hold that thought at the front of your mind till next time dear listener because, as we well know, reality writes itself.